Remembering a friend

Amiga yesterday I practiced at the studio thinking about you, I placed my mat on your favorite spot on the studio floor. At the end of class during savasana I imagined we were holding hands again. I like how we used to hold hands at the end of class when we were having a rough day, it was such a nice way of saying everything is going to be ok, I’m here with you, I love you. While laying down in a puddle of sweat and tears I tried to imagine I was taking your pain away and filling your heart with love. I’m always feeling grateful for that moment. Remember the morning of my last birthday? we went to take Janet’s class in San Francisco with Dana for the very first time. You started crying when the chanting started and I held your hand, you weren’t sad, you were overwhelmed by the love in that room. I wanted you to come back with me when I returned from my trip, but I was too late.

Bri I’m heartbroken, when you died I feel half of my heart died with you and the other half is filled with heartache. I often think about you, specially at night when the distractions of a busy day begin to wear out. I think about the things we shared and the things I never told you with tears in my eyes. Today I appreciate the trust we had and how comfortable I felt with you, I always thought of you as one of those long time friends you grow old with. I loved every time we would hang out doing yoga, trying a new food place or when you would come over to watch a movie. We would move all the pillows against the wall and tease Mandy with our socks. I had a stash of Himalayan Salt Rice Chips and Justin Peanut Butter Dark Chocolate always ready. You would say no thanks at first, trying to play it cool, but 5 minutes later I could hear ‘Crunch, Crunch’ next to me and you would have a big smile on your face. I was always amazed at how quickly you could make a burrito, the size of a newborn, disappear.

Amiga, news of your sudden departure has hit our community very hard and we are all feeling the loss in our own way. I want to thank you for coming into my life when you did, I love you and miss you so much. The first time I saw the picture below you were already teaching yoga and I was in teacher training. You inspired me to finish, to keep pushing out of my comfort zone, to embrace the change. I wanted to have your confidence and feel good being of service to others.

You were thoughtful and caring, you even did my laundry and Dana’s too more than once even folding it neatly and you took Mandy on walks when I was busy working in SF. I often laugh thinking of you wearing your Owl onesie every day of winter. When you moved in with Raissa she would start cracking up watching you walk around the house wearing it, I picture the whole scene and can’t help but smile.

Remembering you is beautiful, I want to tell everyone the bright light you were in my life and our community. Missing you is a heartache that never goes away. I hold you dearly within my broken heart and there you will remain always. I love you

Today I feel you are watching over me, remember when we went with Raissa to that meditation talk in SF? Afterwards we casually talked about how we should give up all attachments and move to an Ashram in India. Well a teaching opportunity has presented itself and it is in India. I am excited but it is also bittersweet not being able to share the news with you and have you tag along.

Thank you for all the love, the laughs, the tears and thank you for being you, be at peace mi amiga, my sister, my love, my beautiful light.

Spread the love. Be the light

#BeautybeginswithB — in Berkeley, California.